★ The Origin ★
I came from the gridiron.
I was once a man on a football field. Then I was a man in a movie. Then I was a man in a commercial that was watched 186 million times by people who had never even considered the geography of their own showers.
I have been a precinct sergeant, a captain, a host of the nation's most beloved competitive variety hour, a painter of luminous photorealism, and an author of books that real men read on real airplanes. The smell of power follows me wherever I go. It is sometimes inconvenient.
'88
First amateur powerlifting trophy · I lifted the wrong amount on purpose
'93
Drafted into a professional league · my pectorals signed the contract
'99
First motion picture · I played a man · I was that man
'04
Began the towel campaign · 188 million impressions · all warm
'09
Introduced the horse · we have an arrangement
'14
Eight seasons of prime-time precinct comedy · I was great · I am still great
'18
Year-end publication of record · full page · I wore the navy suit
'22
Began hosting the country's variety hour · the country is grateful